Hormone Imbalance

Song: Private Emotion by Ricky Martin

I wish I could say it's just because as a child I drank a lot of milk from a drugged up bovine. But I don't like milk. While I'm not a cry baby, it seems I cry much more than my other friends. I'd like to attribute this to my ability to connect to my emotions more than others. I’m learning to put everything out there up front. It’s like a no holds bar. This is who I am. Accept me or move on type attitude. It usually doesn’t take long to know if someone actually gets me. I recently have shared this blog with those who could potentially have some interest in me. Why? Well I feel it’s an easy way to show a couple things. 1) I am a girl and have emotions 2) I will continue to have emotions. Am I emotion led? I try not to be most days. On a date recently, the subject of my blog came up. His astute observation and reservation about me was my 8 year ban of dating has caused me to be emotionally immature. I guess I should expect some criticism when I make myself so open and readily available. It made me question this whole blog process for a moment. Am I immature? It is true I do not have the years under my belt of horrible dates and awkward moments that I have learned to abhor yet embrace so fondly. Dating has caused me to realize what is most important to me. It has caused me to pinpoint more closely what it is I would like in a best friend. While one part of me wants to withdrawal and stay in the pain free- date free bubble, I know that to get to the desired end result there may be a bit of discomfort and self discovery. I don’t regret the blog or fully exposing my weaknesses for all to mock or perhaps even closely resemble.
I believe it's possible to remain a romantic with high hopes while being realistic. Funny but when you dream, you only see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow- end result of happiness and not the muddy, murky, swamp-like river you must tread upstream to get to point B. I guess I'm out to prove what seems to be impossible by the masses. If anything, it should make for a good story.

Movie: Evita

I can't help but think of Madonna when I think of Ricky Martin. I think it may be several factors in my college days. But I felt it an appropriate to transition from Kiki to Madonna. I remember watching this movie and being so fascinated with the pictures and music. I never did engage much with the story but the beauty was there. Despite all the negative reviews, I still liked Madonna. How could you not like "Don't Cry for My Argentina?"

Weeds

Songs: Sowing The Seeds Of Love by Tears for Fears

I know it’s crazy but I actually like to pull weeds. It’s not so much the act of pulling weeds but the appearance afterwards. It’s as if I have actually accomplished something as I look at a large bag full of unwanted growth that I have manually pulled from the earth. My mom taught me this act as a wee young lass. At that time, I hated it. Little did I know the work ethic and attention to detail she instilled in me from these long hours in the yard. I recall coming home from college and sitting in the flower beds with my mom. We had such great talks and quality time together. Now that I’m in a home, I have a yard to maintain. I get the watering and weed pulling duties, along with the planting of the flowers. All things I enjoy doing. I think because it brings me back to a simpler time. It reminds me of my mom and what an awesome woman she truly is. All those summers I had to scrub baseboards, mop the floors and have dinner ready on the table when my parents got home, I can’t thank her enough for preparing me. While these may seem like all trivial duties, it made me grateful for what I have. It made me appreciate what beauty comes from a little elbow grease and sweat on your brow. It’s not easy, and usually not fun, but the dividends make it all worthwhile.

Movie: Ransom
I think it's intriguing just how much my mother loves this movie. I think it's partially because she remembers the plot and has liberty to roll over and fall asleep while it's on. To me, it's a bit sad and dark but I can't help but think of Mama Lynch when I hear it. And that makes me like it.

Don’t Compare, Don’t Complain, Don’t Compete

Song: Good Life by One Republic
I’ve heard the above phrase said numerous times. There have been many a times in which it has helped. It’s difficult not to compare a situation to a previously experienced happening. While I don’t want to live in the past, it seems necessary to take the issues from the past as a point of reference to make judgment calls for the future. I’m just curious as to when the past becomes emotion-free.

Movie: When Harry Met Sally

In the ripe young age of 30, I have come to the realization that life often does not turn out as we expected. I did not expect to be unmarried, childless. I didn’t expect to be living with a roommate and her son. I didn’t expect to still be making copies for others. No. I anticipated my life being somewhat different- maybe a little more picturesque. But even though my expectations are far from reality, I am so blessed. I am blessed that I am single with no children and can make snap decisions at a moment’s notice (because we all know how quickly I am to do that). I am blessed that I live with a great friend and her character of a son who continually love and support me through these last few emotional ridden months. I am blessed that I have a job that I can influence others. While not my dream job, I have provision. For these things I chose to be grateful. I chose for my prospective to be picturesque. Is my life like a movie- some days. I would just prefer it to be When Harry Met Sally over Office Space or Joe vs. the Volcano.