The List

Song: My List by Toby Keith
Dating, while at times difficult, has it's good points too. I have learned so much about myself in this short window of time. I've learned what is a have-to on my list and what is a good-to-have. This is assuming I actually follow my list any longer. Let me also mention I am a list person. I love making lists. Once I made a list of lists I needed to make. A bit much but that's just me. I started said "things to have in a mate" list when I was 18. This was under no prompting of anyone else. I was playing receptionist at job number 4 and needed something to pass the time during the waiting for the next phone call. On this list, I found it necessary that he like Chinese & Mexican food. I also wanted him to be Tom Cruise-esqe, Drew Carey-esqe, Nicolas Cage-esqe.

He should also want to go to concerts with me even if he didn't like them. Even at the age of 18 I had started my likes and dislikes list- although it was not as accurate as it needed to be. Years later, I heard a story of this woman who made a huge list of everything she wanted in a man- it was about 150 items, down to he needed to play a musical instrument. She met a man who actually fulfilled all but the musical instrument. She was ready to walk away when she discovered he was in fact musically inclined. At the wonderful news of this woman finding a diamond in the rough, I promptly went to work on my list. While I didn't know hair or eye color, I was willing to let God decide this feature. The items on my list seemed reasonable. Weeks, months, years passed as I waited for this list of a man to appear. During that time, I began to loathe the list and narrowed it down to 2 items- Love God, Love me- this seemed easy enough to remember. Present day, I don't have it written down yet but I have started a new list. The things we deem as so important early in life seem to fade with maturity. Sure it would fabulous to have a man with a Tom Cruise smile, a Drew Carey comedic timing- although I would go with Steve Carell today, and the mysterious talent of Nicolas Cage-- even though I can't recall the last movie of his that I've liked (in this decade). There was a brochure I used to teach from called 101 Things to Know Before Dating & Marriage. A lot of questions on this brochure made me laugh--
What is their last name?
Do they have children?
My favorite was, would you hire this person if they applied for a job?
I recently honed in on that question as it is the essence of dating. You apply for the position of being a person's significant other and quickly know within the first meeting if this job is for you. You accept under the terms of a 90 day trial. After 90 days, there will be a review to decide if this is indeed a good fit and things should proceed. Just as every job is not for you, every person is not for you. But sometimes you never know until you try.