The Encounter

Song: Strong Enough by Matthew West

I went to my first audition in over a year. In the past year, I have avoided auditioning. I think because I'm not a fan of rejection. But low and behold, auditioning, much like dating, is not all about whether or not you rock or suck. It could be that I'm not the right fit for the role. I've been cast because of my height and hair color before. That doesn't mean that the others had awful hair. It's just that I represented the role of the character more than the others. And so I approached this audition with my newfound life discovery- if I get it, great. If I don't, then I continue putting myself out there for other opportunities. I'll eventually find the right role for me. If necessary, I get to improve on my technique or attitude. They aren't rejecting me. I'm still an amazing girl with dreams and goals.

Movie: Only You

The story begins with a young girl and her friends playing with a quiji board. The name- Damon Bradley, is spelled out as predicted of her future husband. As a adult, a man of the same name calls for her fiance at her home. She finds out that he will be out of town in Italy. Her adventure begins as she and her best friend travel to Italy to find her supposed soul mate. While in Italy, she meets a mess of a man who helps her find the Damon Bradley. When she finally finds the real Damon Bradley, she is diasppointed yet surprised that she has been swept off her feet by the man who was in front of her face all along. This goes to show that sometimes the things most obvious aren't so obvious- especially when we're blinded by foolishness of we think could possibly be.

The List

Song: My List by Toby Keith
Dating, while at times difficult, has it's good points too. I have learned so much about myself in this short window of time. I've learned what is a have-to on my list and what is a good-to-have. This is assuming I actually follow my list any longer. Let me also mention I am a list person. I love making lists. Once I made a list of lists I needed to make. A bit much but that's just me. I started said "things to have in a mate" list when I was 18. This was under no prompting of anyone else. I was playing receptionist at job number 4 and needed something to pass the time during the waiting for the next phone call. On this list, I found it necessary that he like Chinese & Mexican food. I also wanted him to be Tom Cruise-esqe, Drew Carey-esqe, Nicolas Cage-esqe.

He should also want to go to concerts with me even if he didn't like them. Even at the age of 18 I had started my likes and dislikes list- although it was not as accurate as it needed to be. Years later, I heard a story of this woman who made a huge list of everything she wanted in a man- it was about 150 items, down to he needed to play a musical instrument. She met a man who actually fulfilled all but the musical instrument. She was ready to walk away when she discovered he was in fact musically inclined. At the wonderful news of this woman finding a diamond in the rough, I promptly went to work on my list. While I didn't know hair or eye color, I was willing to let God decide this feature. The items on my list seemed reasonable. Weeks, months, years passed as I waited for this list of a man to appear. During that time, I began to loathe the list and narrowed it down to 2 items- Love God, Love me- this seemed easy enough to remember. Present day, I don't have it written down yet but I have started a new list. The things we deem as so important early in life seem to fade with maturity. Sure it would fabulous to have a man with a Tom Cruise smile, a Drew Carey comedic timing- although I would go with Steve Carell today, and the mysterious talent of Nicolas Cage-- even though I can't recall the last movie of his that I've liked (in this decade). There was a brochure I used to teach from called 101 Things to Know Before Dating & Marriage. A lot of questions on this brochure made me laugh--
What is their last name?
Do they have children?
My favorite was, would you hire this person if they applied for a job?
I recently honed in on that question as it is the essence of dating. You apply for the position of being a person's significant other and quickly know within the first meeting if this job is for you. You accept under the terms of a 90 day trial. After 90 days, there will be a review to decide if this is indeed a good fit and things should proceed. Just as every job is not for you, every person is not for you. But sometimes you never know until you try.

Tick Tock

Song: Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper/ Time by Culture Club
It's time that we want to speed up to get to the next season of our life. It's time that we want to slow down during a 3 day weekend or vacation. Time is so precious. It's times of waiting that we learn to trust God for His best. It's times of waiting that we learn it's worth waiting. Time helps to gain a fresh perspective. Because in the end, we can hurry things up to get instant gratification for something that is so-so or we can practice patience which perfects and prepares us for what's to come. I continue to convince myself it's worth the wait because deep down I know it is.

Movie: Time Changers
Let me first start by saying I highly recommend not seeing this movie. I saw this time travel movie one New Year's Eve night at church-about 10 years ago. I had just started actively attending church again. Let me also state that when I get involved in something, I'm all in. I went all in to church, no turning back. There were some good points to that. I learned to have a relationship with God. I learned how important it is to give of your time and resources. I learned that God has graced us with talents and gifts. This last point I got but I didn't fully grasp how I could utilize my gifts without having it encompassed in a Christian field. Seeing as my passion was film and acting, Time Changers was my first eye opening experience with a Christian film. I had spent 4 years in college marking off the list of those American Film Institute's top 100 films I watched. Time Changers did not come close in any category of great acting, cinematography, direction or writing. It didn't make the list. I wanted to run out of the building. Instead I watched the movie and left crying and thinking this was the fate I was doomed to have. I thought I could only watch films that had a good message that were G or PG. Because of this, I watched very few movies for about 3 or 4 years. I surpressed the very thing I loved most. So maybe I took this to the extreme. Balance- it seems is something I continue to learn how to obtain. It took time for me to see that I could do what I'm passionate about without it having to involve people acting as biblical characters in their 100% cotton sheets. I realized that more than anything people want to see and experience stories that encourage and motivate them. Who doesn't enjoy a feel good movie? Who doesn't love the passion behind William Wallace in Braveheart? There definitely is a market for Christian film and acting. But ultimately people do not want God to be shoved down their throats. Nor do they want to be a cookie cutter of a person. It is possible to love God with all your heart and be yourself. People want to make the decision themselves. It's our job to expose the truth. It's the truth that empowers people. It's truth that changes heart motives. It's truth that brings freedom. These are the stories I would love to tell. And in time, I will do so.