Hollywood

Congratulations Hollywood. You did it again. You pulled the wool over my ideas with your movie magic. I thought my love story would emulate a movie script. It would last approximately 90 pages with a few plot twists and turns. But in the end I would have my happily ever after. My life thus far has not followed along with the script I have written for it. Nope. It's had a few detours along the way that I did not account for. While I could focus on the things that have not happened as of yet, I chose to look at what I have been blessed with. God continues to surprise me with His overwhelming love for me. And that in and of itself is enough.

Perhaps it's the commercial holiday of Valentine's Day that has me reflecting on such things. I've always thought this was a stupid day. The cheesy teddy bears, balloon filled gifts, crazy expensive flowers, heart shaped chocolates. My favorite memories of Valentine's Day were in elementary school. There was nothing better than making a shoebox card holder. It was the craft opportunities that excited me. I didn't care about the little cards. I loved the candy. It was when hormones kicked in that this day began to suck. I am so far from cynical. I had boyfriends in junior high and high school that would "wow" me with the $1.00 carnation to benefit the student council. I had a 4 foot teddy bear sitting in my chair in 6th grade reading class. (I have to admit that one was pretty cool...) But in all I find the day to be- well- thoughtless and an obligation rather than a heart felt sentiment. But then again, I guess that depends on the giver. I love sappy. I love over the top. I just want it to be from the heart and not because a day dicated that you must do something for me so I can brag to my friends and family. Please keep in mind that I say all this because I have never had someone dote on me in my adult years. I'm sure if I had a singing telegram delivered to me from a hairy cupid man in a diaper I would be elated. Scared. Shocked. And elated.

Perspective

Song: Firework by Katy Perry

I think I may actually be an adult now. Either that or I have finally put into practice some of the character-building life lessons I’ve had. In the new year, it’s such a time of reflection and hope for something new and better. We reflect on what didn’t go right in the previous year and what needs improvement. No one is exempt from having some things that need tweaking… especially little ole me. I was thinking about some things that I should have done differently and I immediately started the self-loathing and self bashing session. It was during the 2nd sentence into the monologue that I remembered just who I was. Christ saw it fit to forgive my sins, why shouldn’t I be able to extend the same grace and mercy to myself that He gave me? I am my best and worst critic. I can pick myself up or crush myself into a bailer of nothing special. However, I chose to see myself for the individual God created me to be. I know who I am. I know my worth. I know my value. And no matter what I may do, this never changes. I recently had a discussion with someone about my greatest fear. Mine was failure. I was scared to think that I did something contrary to what my intended purpose is to fulfill. The rebuttal given was yet another revelation similar to my previous statement. He whispered in my ear as if it was a precious gift for me to conceal and keep with me always. He stated “You can never fail if you don’t give up.” God will always lead you to your purpose if you truly listen. Perhaps that wasn’t verbatim- but it was the jewel I needed to walk away with. Love never fails. And perfect love casts out fear. So fear of failing shouldn’t even be within me. So I start this new year with a fresh perspective knowing that with God all things are possible.

Movie: Crazy Stupid Love

It’s no surprise that I love me some Steve Carell. I also love love. So a love story with Steve Carell- of course I’ll be on board. This is a story of a man who discovers his wife of 25 years wants a divorce. She had become bored in the marriage and was unfaithful to her husband. Through self discovery instigated by a random stranger in a bar (played by Gosling), Cal (played by Carell) learns to forgive his wife and fight for what’s most important—his soul mate and his love. Gosling’s character also changes by discovering how shallow and surface level his playboy, materialistic life is when meeting a quirky yet vulnerable girl. She challenges him. She makes fun of him. She helps him to remove the façade by being herself. There’s nothing like being in a relationship that you can be your complete self.